It has come to my attention that there are those among you that do not know or adhere to proper free lunch etiquette. I have personally had to explain this, until now, unwritten code of conduct to several of you who will remain nameless (Oliver for one). The guidelines listed below have been vetted through several of my colleagues and found to be reasonable. These rules are really quite simple.
1. Free meals acquired during regular business hours must be eaten on the premises. Grabbing a free lunch and taking it home for dinner is a gross violation. Exceptions for things like veggie trays, which no one is going to eat anyway and will sit in the refrigerator until they rot and are thrown away by Jessixa, are allowable.
2. Free meals must be eaten on the calendar day that they are acquired. Saving a lunch “for tomorrow” is unacceptable. However, if you are certain that you will be working past dinner time, it is acceptable to grab a lunch and save it for dinner (provided that said dinner is consumed on the premises).
3. It is accepted to pilfer a cookie out of a free box lunch provided that you also take the apple.
4. Free lunch “stalking” is frowned upon, however, not prohibited.
Lastly, if the free lunch happens to be “vegan,” none of these rule apply.