The HA Swingers crushed it again this week not once, but twice. Below is the ever-comical Jordan Lee’s download on the games. Enjoy!
Mercy, Mercy, Mercy!!!
The Swingers began a home stand on Tuesday against the relatively unknown Big Fish Sticks. With a nearly complete roster that includes four HA rookie ballers, the Swingers were focused on continuing their meteoric improvement over last year.
Within the first few innings, it was clear that their performance in the Season Opener was not a fluke. Bats were ablaze throughout the order, highlighted by rookie third-base sensation Courtney Sheaver. She clearly feels at home on third-base, as she crushed a line drive into the gap for a stand-up triple and RBI.
There were plenty of bombs delivered beyond the reach of the Fish Sticks’ outfielders, racking up runs and RBIs for the Swingers. Again, solid defense led to efficient innings for Swingers’ pitchers.
Behind home plate was 78 year-old former big-league umpire, and Ballard legend Harald Hansson. Even though his strike-zone was wide, his wit and sass were sharp and plentiful. Hansson was also quick on the scene, to multiple hamstring injuries suffered by Swingers’ base-runners.
Hansson was also quick to enforce the Mercy Rule after the 5th Inning, as the Swingers blew out the Fish Sticks 21-1.
The Swingers and their fans celebrated their second straight victory at their usual haunt, just in time to see the new World Champion G-Dub’s put the Cleveland out of their misery.
Swingers fever is spreading faster than toxic-algae blooms in the Pacific. Their vicious and attacking offense makes it doubly dangerous to swim with these top-level predators. Their opponents tonight – the poorly named Performance Enhanced. They would need all the PEDs, steroids, and supplements they could score in locker room at Gold’s Gym in order to take on the Great Whites of the Diamond, undefeated Swingers.
The Swingers had the hot bats right out of the gates, methodically putting runs on the board. The Swingers also leaned on their suffocating defense inhaling ground balls faster than a traveling Kirby Vacuum salesman.
Despite nagging injuries, the Swingers did not take their foot off the gas. They hobbled to first-base and even to home, wincing but not whining. There were plenty of bombs in this one as well. A three-run shot by Bobby “Not-Dustin-Ackley” Biskupiak traveled all the way to the pitcher’s mound on the opposite field, briefly stopping play while he rounded the bases.
It’s as if Nero himself has been sitting behind home plate game during every game, granting mercy to the Swingers opponents after the 5th Inning. Tonight, that was true for the third consecutive game, with a final score of 14-2 the Performance Enhanced players left the field flaccid and reeling.
While the Swingers are undefeated with 3 wins, they do face the also undefeated Fund of Fun next week. Tickets are still available, but grab them soon.