HA “Swingers” Softball Report 6/9

POSTED BY on Jun 10, 2015

(Commentary courtesy of Jordan Lee)

As the Seattle Mariners have shown, too many pre-season accolades can be the death knell to a successful season. The Swingers, were not presented with this problem. They finished up so poorly last year, they were sent down a notch and forced to play in the Blue Leagues.
Presented as a rebuilding year, Skipper Hilburn threw caution to the wind, ignoring conventional wisdom and he focused his recruitment efforts towards “True Athletes” not ball-players.  As Spring Training progressed, the results from the CrossFit™ talent search could not be argued, this was panning out.  Despite those naysayers in the press, the Skip maintains the course
The rubber met the road last night, for the The Swingers season opener against Cask & Trotter Sluggers. Put that in your Hipster Name Generator!  BTW…I just purchased every future Ampersand™ on the interwebs and now I am Billionaire!…Sorry, I digress.
The Swingers were the visiting team and set the tone for the night in their first inning at bat, with multiple home runs and a plethora of hits, including a run scoring double from Alesia “The Crusher” McVey.  The officials nearly ran out of space on the scorecard trying to keep track of the home runs, doubles and base hits.  A far cry from last years offense that couldn’t buy a run, and I believe they did try.
Defensively, The Swingers stymied the opposing Sluggers, methodically picking them apart.  They limited extra-base hits and terrified base runners looking to score with Seal-Team 6 sniper shots from the outfield.
At one point, the Cask and Trotter Slugger’s catcher asked the umpire, “How long will this game go on for?”

The umpire replied, “Not too much longer…there is a mercy rule.”
After the dust cleared from the back-to-back home runs from the rookie apprentice Colton “Dusty” Dunn, who mainly kicked up dust due to his lack of proper footwear, the final score was 23 to 5.
Hilburn’s genius in acquiring outside talent as well as his internal draft choices have sparked new life into this franchise that has a rich history of success.  With all your summer sports viewing options consider this to be one of the best deals in town.  Check it out!


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Jun 11, 2015 at 8:28am

Ah, how I've missed Jordan's Swinger's Report!