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Swinging Is Not Just For Key Parties

POSTED BY Jordan Lee on Jun 28, 2012

The 2011 Swingers season was abysmal, at best, and fan attendance was at an all-time low.  The glory days of the Swingers of yore are but a distant memory.   As with all great franchises in sports, veteran talent needs to be replenished with fresh new talent.  It was clear Skipper Hilburn and Management had to make some drastic changes to once again give the ownership what it wants, more hardware for the trophy case.  The Swingers front office worked tirelessly with Hilburn and his scouts to draw from the pool of veteran Swingers, Swingers Farm League, as well as gathering targeting vetted major league talent.

These efforts by Hilburn and Management coupled with a renewed financial commitment from ownership, have the Swingers off to their best start since their infamous League Championship in 2008.  The Swingers are currently in tied for 2ndPlace with a record of 4-1.  The ascension of this rising star went supernova during a sloppy double-header last night, where the Swingers hit full stride and dominated their opponents.

The first game of this double-header started with Swingers personnel and their opponents having to fill in for the missing and classically absent City of Seattle grounds crew.  The rain prior to game time and the day before had left the field saturated and nearly unplayable.  Members of both franchises were required to remove the water that had formed throughout the infield before play could commence.  Despite their efforts the field had the consistency of chocolate pudding sitting in the hot sun.

These conditions appeared to favor the Swingers who put on a homerun derby and on-base clinic.  Base running was tough, but the always fashionable Swingers sacrificed their finest hipster garb in order to collect an enormous amount of runs.  Most impressive were the two Grand-Slam homeruns tallied by newcomer’s Johnny “Come-Lately” Wilkens and Nick “Kid-Capri” Thiel.  Returning summer league star and free-agent, Auggie “Beast-Mode” Matteo,  knocked a solo shot well into the next zip code for a home run.  Additional solid base-hitting was done by every player in the Swingers line-up and all players scored at least one run.

Almost more important than the dramatic improvement in offense, was the story of the defense and the chemistry with which the Swingers took into every inning.  The pitching by the Skipper was top-notch despite the ball being coated Seattle slime and sand.  Defensive plays were made with accuracy and intelligence allowing the Swinger to stifle any attempt to close the gap by the opposition.  Swingers finished Game 1 with a final score of 19 to 1.

Game 2 of the double header was very much a repeat of Game 1.  There was a field change and conditions on the new field were not much better than the first.  While the hitting was not as amazing the roster changes made by Hilburn for the second game further solidified that the defense is on track.  The Swingers still dominated their opponents and closed the game out due to time constraints, winning handily 12 to 4. 

The Skipper congratulated his team for slogging through the rough conditions and instructed them to celebrate at the official league-sponsored makeshift clubhouse, The Hilltop Pub.  There was a hefty amount of reminiscing and corresponding libations; there was even a bit of friendly trash-talking with their opponents across the bar.  The Swingers will have a challenge to back up their boastful banter as they take on the league leading and undefeated Angry Beavers, Monday July 2ndin Queen Anne.

The Swingers are also leading the charge in establishing a fan base in the United Kingdom and they hope to expand their dynasty with a London-Area Cricket team in the near future.

WRITTEN BY Jordan Lee

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