The Competition or Rebel Forces?

POSTED BY Jordan Lee on Apr 5, 2012

A recent new Freelance Developer, Chris Alexander, at Hornall Anderson World Headquarters made an interesting discovery while pondering the benefits of HTML5 and User Interface Design.  With his head in the clouds he was able to spot something that has been undiscovered and in plain site since our colonization here at the Dexter Horton Building.  Leaning back in his posture-correct Herman Miller Aeron chair he spotted what appears to be a 4-inch projectile lodged in the ceiling.  This projectile looks to be consistent with a Civil War-era cannon ball.

As with all great mysteries, theories abound as to what it actually is and how it came to rest just poking through the concrete ceiling above.  This day-dreaming Dev Guru did what all good developers do when they need answers quick, he began scouring the interwebs looking for historical reference to local uprisings in the Greater Seattle area.  Being from Nashville, Tennessee, it is likely he was having a flashback to his family reunions that included Civil War Reenactments as the marquee event.  He was able to determine that during the middle of the 19thCentury there was a local uprising from the Yakima Tribe who were upset with miners entering their lands in search of gold, and culminated in their attack on downtown Seattle that was later named “Battle in Seattle”.  An odd coincidence that Mr. Alexander discovered was that Dexter Horton in 1856 had a very close-in experience with an unexploded ammunition round.


Mr. Alexander’s theory is plausible except one glaring detail.  While the man for which this building as named was alive at the time and most likely the target of the aforementioned uprising, the building we occupy was not built until 1924.  I give this you lad some true credit for concocting an intriguing theory, but it is obvious that this is not the answer to a very obscure mystery.

Other theories include that it a styrofoam prop that someone has carefully embedded in the ceiling as a hoax.  My personal favorite is that it is an alien space-craft that failed to land safely. 

The facts of the case are that we are located on the 13thFloor (a clue?), and based on eyeball analysis of the projectile’s trajectory, it must have come down in a nearly perpendicular angle towards the earth.  It would have also have had to travel through the roof structure and no less than two 8-inch thick concrete and steel floors.  The projectile shredded the steel pan that was used to pour the concrete floors.  It stopped just short of penetrating the 14thFloor completely and appears to be suspended in mid-flight.


Those are the details, and I challenge all of you from the Hornall Anderson Fighting 1st, and the 2ndBrigade stationed in the United Kingdom to keep your guard up as we can only assume we are under attack!  If there is an ordinance disposal expert in the house we could use you on the C-Wing, bring your sandbags, and your happy helmet.

Keep Calm and Carry On!


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